This post reflects much of what I've been thinking about in the last week or so: moving out. I had gotten this idea in my head sometime around last spring, and I'm not quite sure what spurred it on but all of the sudden it became my main goal in the next part of my life. There's nothing wrong with living at home; admittedly I have it made in the shade and I'm pretty well taken care of financially by my parents. I had an OK list of reasons for wanting to do it, but I recently discovered the big one that was lurking in my subconscious. And this is that I like to have things to plan and organize, and honestly right now, I have no other specific ambitions to pursue.
Let's be honest, who doesn't look forward to being able to go grocery shopping with their roommates every month and plan their meals for each week? I know I'm not the only one who has thought about it. Once you're buying your own food with your own paycheck, the feelings of independence are probably pretty solid, I'm guessing. I'm getting so ahead of myself in already wanting to pick out recipes for dinners that I'm going to make, and find coupons online, and compare Winco prices to Wal Mart prices. I mean, I don't plan on even being able to move out for another 6 months at least, but I still periodically browse KSL and the newspaper listings to see what type of apartments and houses for rent are out there. Why does this excite me so much? Because it gives me something to work towards! Think of all the planning and budgeting that goes into living on one's own. I could spend days just going through my room and deciding what I'll keep vs. what I'll bring, and online shopping for used appliances/furniture, and designing the decor for each room. Just mentioning these things makes my brain smile.
Now that I've realized how much the appeal in moving out is caused by just the act itself, and having something to work towards, I'm worried that I'm jumping the gun and unnecessarily pushing away my family before I'm ready. I still love being around them, and I'll be sad when I can't sit down with my mom in the kitchen whenever I want to talk, or team up with X24 in provoking Garrett to the point of hysterical yelling and throwing kitchen towels across the room. And of course, I'll miss my dad always willing to listen and share his wisdom through gentle advice about my relationships and life decisions. At one point in one's life does one decide he/she is ready to leave the nest? I feel like I've been looking at it as more of a change in habitat rather than a change in life. Once you leave, you're not supposed to change your mind and come back, and I don't want that to be a problem for me.
But at the same time I've had this feeling like I'm not going to get anywhere in life unless I make changes and DO something. Maybe that something needs to be moving out and living on my own. I don't know if it'll bring me sudden divine inspiration about what career path I'm destined to follow, which is getting to be a pressing matter at this point in time, but at least I won't be sitting still in my bubble of comfortable consistency (can you tell yet how much I like alliteration?). When I started writing this post I didn't know what was going to be said, but apparently it's just one of those thinking rants. I thought maybe I would upload my estimated budget for the cost of living each month, or discuss the many ways I'm going to save money on food. However, at the current moment, those things aren't as important as the knowledge of whether I'm going to make the right decision or not. If anybody reading has any advice, on that or even just tips on being frugal when I DO move out, it would be much appreciated. Other than that, this concludes another journal-type entry in the blog de Sousa that I might be re-reading in published form some 20 years later to my kids.